Come together.

By Pippo Lionni: “PRIMETIME FUCKME.”


The great porn hunt.

A trip down memory lane…

Sin Titulo: I just saw this and had a good chuckle. Look at the post by user “poseidon.”

Luna de Miel: Aww, I miss CK. Was just talking about porn last night on the phone and the “hunt” for that perfect video.

Sin: I miss it too. And the huuunntttt, yes. So perilous, so full of deceptions. It’s like some kind of strange ritual. Like the British and their tea. Or, fox hunting. You feel like you should be eating a special breakfast before hand and putting on gloves and reciting an ancient prayer with your genitals before opening up several tabs in your browser and hitting up all your favorite porn sites. But, of course, the exact opposite is true.

Luna: But it seems so … urgent and important. It HAS to be the right one, and it has to be the right moment in the video. I’m very picky. I hate coming too soon and maybe missing a better one later on in the video. But .. in the end, I usually feel like I’ve just wasted two hours and now my hands are cramped and my laptop is out of batteries. You don’t feel that way when you’ve been fooling around with someone for 2 hours. Quite the opposite. Usually.

Sin: I know what you mean. Fuck, I know what you mean. There’s nights where the hunt is just… After an hour, you know you’re going to get off to something… sub par. But you keep the hunt up, massively unenthused. Then, there’s nights where all your clips/videos are hot, but still not right. Still not perfect. So you keep going, treading on through promising stuff that’s not right for the moment and that very special and very sad kind of blue balls you can only get during “the  hunt.”

Luna: There’s a point where you’ve come too far. Sure, you can go to bed and just forget it, but you’ve worked so hard for this, you know? You have to finish up now. Or it might start hot and then someone does something to mess up the flow.

Sin: The video is hot but you’re looking for that right string of 30 seconds to a minute to two or three minutes by which you’re really going to put the finishing touches on that special masterpiece you’re working on, which is, well, yourself.

Luna: But what’s interesting is it has to provoke the right kind of images in your head, bc you’re usually not really thinking of the video. Maybe you are, but for the really good ones… it just goes back to something else in your brain.

Sin: So true. No matter how vague or oblique or indiscriminate. Something you see there reminds you of something from your memories or your fantasies. You’re exploring a part of yourself that you can’t see normally with your own eyes (or maybe don’t want to). It’s either something you’ve seen before and would kill to see again or something you’ve always been looking for.

Luna: But… yeah. I haven’t seen anything lately that’s really stuck in my head as remarkable. It all blurs together into a mess of body parts.

Sin: I’ve seen one or two that have really done the trick. Memorable? No. I feel like there’s weird ages of porn clips on the internet. Or eras. Or aeons, but they fade away into dust and blow away with the wind. Nothing lasts forever. I’m nostalgic for clips I jacked off to a year ago and can’t seem to find anywhere. No one likes feeling left behind. Especially when you’re sitting in front of a computer screen and holding your dick in hand.

Luna: Yeah, I know the feeling. There’s always that phantom clip that will haunt you. If only, if only you could find it again…


And the word is?

by Bettina Rheims, from here and here.




You can blame it all on me.

So.. we haven’t been around lately. A whole three months. I think I can speak for my co-blogger when I say that we’re sorry. A lot of things are different now, so the future of this dark little place? I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t up in the air. But, who can ever tell? Maybe we’ll be back. Or maybe just one of us. Keep us in your RSS reader or bookmarks, maybe it’ll show up again and it’ll be like the 20 dollars you stashed in a pair of jeans you haven’t worn in 6 months. Till next time…


Pidgin Tolstoy and articulate Henry James.

“The women in my life have all been librarians, English teachers, or booksellers. If they couldn’t speak pidgin Tolstoy, articulate Henry James, or give me directions to Usher and Ox, it was no go. I have always longed for education, and pillow talk’s the best.”

-Ray Bradbury in his foreword to A Passion for Books (1999) by Harold Rabinowitz and Rob Kaplan.


The city that never sleeps.

Sleep is overrated, if you ask me. Sleep when you’re dead.

This blog is Not Safe for Corporate Offices, prudes, uptight people, and minors.

We ain't your momma, so please view our sexy links at your own risk.

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We write this blog and our reviews from the bottom of our filthy hearts.

Contact us at carnaltalk@gmail.com

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