Luna de Miel: Worst name for a porn site ever? YouJIZZ.
Sin Titulo: Ugh. Yeah. That is bad.
Luna: And like, you could make it work by having the whole site be just jizz videos but … no.
Sin: Yeah, a site of nothing but cumshots would make more sense. I mean, I’d avoid it, but it’d make sense. YouJizz. That… I do not like that.
Luna: It’s kind of aggressive, no? I don’t have to jizz if I don’t want to, youJIZZ.
Sin: I picture a thick menacingly accent person pointing a gun at my head saying, “You. Jizz! Or we kill the girl!” And he’ll do it too.
Luna: Yes, he will. Also… the reason I’m even aware of the existence of youJIZZ is I was reading a sex blog that was recommended to me by Google Reader. They also linked to this website, which is a swingers site and has the world’s least attractive people on the front page right now.
Sin: Lifestyle Lounge. Heh. What a funny title.
Luna: The people on the front page are so….greasy. They’re the kind of people who would invite you over for dinner to seduce you and you’d come over, all hungry and be all “sooo when’s dinner?” and they’d be like “later, relax!” and put on something like Usher. Then they’d drop wine on you so you’d have to take your shirt off. And then you’d realize what’s happening. And you can’t leave.
Sin: Let’s leave my dating history out of this, shall we?
Luna: Oh. Sorry. I forgot. Hit too close to home there, huh?
Sin: Ehhhh. That’s how all my dates start. Then they end with some stereotypically foreign movie villain saying to me, “You! Jizz! Or we kill the girl and the small furry animal.”
Luna: Then you’ve found yourself in a real pickle then, huh? Would that work with girls too?
Sin: Oh, yeah, of course. It’ll just be a lot more attractive when they do it.
Luna: Maybe this is the plot for the porno that’s been living inside my head for a while?
Sin: Being told to orgasm at gunpoint, either with the gun to your head or with the assailants holding a loved one hostage?
Luna: The gun is kind of hot. but, yeah.
Sin: Is there a happy ending to that story?
Just so there’s no confusion: We love Lena Chen.
Luna: The cops show up. Gangbang time. This is going to be a really dirty porno.
Sin: Does the hostage stay tied up in the corner the whole time?
Luna: Well if we’re going to get really filthy.. the hostage stays tied up and gets involved.
Sin: Does it end with you and your porno troupe turning to the camera and obliterating the fourth wall by telling the audience, “And now… you jizz!” Or do you just jizz on us, like one of those 3D rides at Disneyland back in the day?
Luna: OMG, the second one would be amazing. With a really cheesy effect, too.
Sin: Gallagher-style. Watch out, people in the first three rows!
Luna: This will be the kind of porno you watch ironically.
Sin: Ironic masturbation!
Luna: Yes.
Sin: I feel like if our blog hadn’t been called Carnal Knoweldge, it would’ve been called Ironic Masturbation.
Luna: No, no masturbation. Just… watch it at parties and think… “WTF?” And, you know, there’s room for a sub-title yet.
Sin: Carnal Knowledge, home of the Ironic Masturbation… right into your eye!
Luna: Watch out!
Carnal Knowledge 