Vincent D’Onofrio | Carnal Knowledge

With all the girl ogling we do here, you’d think this blog was written by two dudes or a straight guy and a lesbian. In reality, it’s written by a straight guy and a straight girl who appreciates aesthetics. But, tonight, tonight we will honor that thing that has been responsible for so many poor choices, my love and lust and admiration of the man.

We’ll start with a classic, Christian Bale. He is the kind of man who is so perfect, so good looking, so handsome that if you, a mortal, normal girl were to get him alone for an evening to do whatever you wished, I think I’d spend most of my time just staring at his perfect physique, scared I’d break him. This photo of him is beautiful, some may prefer a more stylized version of Christian, but I love this image, he’s comfortable, in what looks like a hotel room, messy hair, enjoying a bourbon and a smoke, perhaps on a day of debauchery (I wouldn’t have it any other way).

christian bale, having a bourbon and a smoke, waiting for me while i finish getting more comfortable.

But we’re here to talk about smut, right? Hot, filthy smut designed to make your mind wander. Well, let me tell you: finding hot men in porn is not an easy task. While you could theorize that porn is about watching attractive people having sex, that’s hardly ever the case. The men of adult film are usually stone cold average, cast for their endurance, not for their looks. Ron Jeremy, who I’m sure could fuck me 8 ways till Sunday, isn’t exactly an Adonis. I’d complain that the same standard doesn’t really apply to women but the truth is, if a woman really wanted a career getting naked, no matter what she looks like, well, she will be able to find it. Maybe not even getting naked. Maybe just wearing lingerie and eating ice cream (my dream job).

So, imagine my surprise and shock to find a hot man in the most unusual of places, in a blowjob MILF clip. The MILF herself isn’t bad to look at either, but unfortunately she is the spitting image of a very nice woman I used to live with and I found it impossible to watch her because she reminded me so much of my old roommate. Lucky for me, there is some sweet male eye candy.The guy in this clip is genuinely attractive and genuinely hot, not midly attractive in that porn way. And of course, the icing on his sweet, sweet cake: he seems to be genuinely into his busty MILF and I find that adorable.

Finding other hot guys in smut, well, my dear readers, that was not easy. Even looking for hot young couples bought up people that were average at best (and yes, I get to decide what is attractive. This is my blog, fools!). So, in lieu of that, some pictures of attractive men, set to the tune of Hot Chip’s love song “Ready For The Floor” : (Do it do it do it do it now/say it say it say it say it say it say it now)

i can’t hear your voice/do i have a choice?