Mother’s Milk.

In case you were wondering,  yes, your friends and lovers here at Carnal Knowledge are the kind of people to bring you dirty mommy-flavored clips on Mother’s Day. We are just that sick.

from here.

Actually, the first two I want to share with you are less about improper relations between mothers and their offspring, but more about the perils of bad stepfathers:

The first is “Bill, wake up, I’m not mom,” which is… hilarious. This is the kind of stupid you want in almost all porn clips: Family is watching a scary movie on the couch and the mom decides to go to sleep, leaving her daughter and the drunken step father to watch the rest of it. The stepfather passes out and starts humping and touching the girl in his sleep. The girl assumes that he thinks he’s having sex with the mom, but seemingly enjoys it, and they continue. It’s ludicrous! But wonderful.

Oh, and the framing device is that the girl is writing about it in her diary. “Dear diary, I can’t believe what happened to me last night,” she starts the video off with. Ha ha! Excellent!

You can’t tell, but she’s so upset with him.

And then there’s the equally stupid and white trash-y “Wanna Fuck My Daughter?” With a title like that, how can you refuse such a video? In it, a girl comes home late and sneaks in, afraid her mother will catch her, especially when she has to bring a drunk friend of hers home. Thankfully, the mom will never notice since she’s fucking her boyfriend. So, the two girls come in, go to the daughter’s bedroom and pass out. That is, until they’re woken up by the mom who’s boyfriend took a viagra and is just too hard. She needs help taming that great big cock.

God, listen to me. I should start writing porn summaries professionally!

But that’s not to say that step dads are always bad or the only ones who are bad. Sometimes you can have a very naughty step mom as well…

Or there’s also a really good mom, you know, the kind that teaches her daughter all about lesbian sex!

Or the kind that dances around naked for her kids whenever their friends are over!

Or the kind who wakes up their son in the middle of the night to molest him, but in a sexy way!

Or a mother who shares.

Or the kind who tries to push their (step) daughter to be the best that she can, and then has sex with her.

Or the… well, the whatever the fuck is going on in this video, which I’ve always found hot, but so weird.

Anyway, love your mom, kids. Maybe not love love them. But love them. Or someone else’s mom, sure. They’re called MILFs for a reason, but beyond that, it’s their day so treat them special, okay?

Laundry day!

For most people, laundry day is the same day each week, right? For me, it’s Sunday night. It’s the dreaded chore before the dreaded work week starts anew…

Thank God for porn, right?

“Hooray for Laundry Day” sums it all up right there. This is one of the hottest clips I’ve seen on the internet, and I’m just sat the version I’ve found for you here is such low quality. Keep your eye out for a better version of it. It’s hot.

“Holly West Fucked In The Laundry Room” is almost just as hot for me, to be honest. It’s just two good looking people having sex and enjoying themselves and what could be better than that?

“Sex At Laundry Room” is a classic Heather Brooks clip, and if you’ve ever seen one of her videos before, then… well, it’s the same as all of them. Only in a laundry room.

“2 College Girls In Basement Doing Laundry” is a classic for the voyeurs and hidden camera set.

And last, but not least, I give you “Laundry Room Fuck,” a nice little clip about two people just trying to fuck and maybe also shoot some porn, but people keep walking in. Towards the end, the camera can’t help but catch one guy just lingering in the hallway outside the laundry room, watching and stroking his cock as the couple have sex. I guess, in that regard, he’s kind of the proxy for the audience, huh?